"It Feels Different When You Are Choosing It." - Alysa Liu

"That's what I’m f***ing talking about!" 

Alysa Liu shouted after winning gold—the first American woman to win individual gold in figure skating since 2002.

Everyone is talking about it. But here's what most people are missing:

The real story isn't just that Alysa won.

It's the difference between how she won and how Ilia lost. And what we can learn from this for our own lives.

Same Olympics. Same pressure. Completely different result.

The Pressure Problem

Days before Alysa's historic win, every article about Ilia Malinin's 8th place finish blamed pressure.

"Too much pressure on him." "The expectations were too high."

But here's what I want to challenge:

Was pressure really the problem? Or was it revealing something deeper?

It's like saying the problem in war is that bullets are flying.

Of course there are bullets. That's what war IS. Of course there's pressure at the Olympics. That's what the Olympics IS. The highest stakes. The biggest stage. The world watching.

That's the design.

The pressure doesn't create the problem. The pressure reveals what's already there.

What I Learned 20 Years Ago

Many years ago, I read a book by Russian sports psychologist Rudolf Zagainov called "What For?" He described what he observed in the Olympic village:

"I cannot tell the winners from the losers. And this surprises even me, who has seen much in life and in sport. There is no joy or triumph on the face of the new Olympic champion, only insane fatigue, emptiness, reconciliation with the world and with oneself. Victory is too hard now, and there is no strength left for simple human joy."

I read those words and thought: "That can't be right. Surely if I was coaching at the Olympics and my student won, they'd be happy."

But months later, there I was—coaching Sasha Cohen at the 2006 Olympics. She was the favorite. The number one contender for gold. And she fell. Twice. Won the silver medal, but lost the gold.

Ilia Malinin reacts after his free skate at the 2026 Milano Olympics, where he fell from 1st to 8th place.Ilia Malinin reacts after his free skate at the 2026 Milano Olympics, where he fell from 1st to 8th place.I saw exactly what Zagainov described. Not joy. Relief. Exhaustion. The face of someone who survived, not celebrated.

The Twenty-Year Quest

That experience became the catalyst for my twenty-year quest. I knew in my gut that this was not the experience I wanted for anyone. Not just to perform at their best under any circumstances, but to enjoy it as well.

Here's what I finally understood:

When your identity is conditional on the outcome... When WHO you are is built on being "QuadGod"... When your existence depends on landing those jumps...

Then the pressure doesn't just test your skills. It threatens your entire sense of self.

And when something is unhealed, unprocessed in your consciousness—when there are negative memories you haven't transformed—they will surface. And they will flood you at the most critical moment.

Ilia's Story: External Validation

Ilia said it himself after his performance:

"Traumatic moments and memories flooded my mind as I took my starting pose."

That's not "too much pressure."

That's unprocessed consciousness erupting when WHO you are is on the line.

His mind—working perfectly, like a calculator—executed an equation. I know that equation well.

Ilia's parents are from the Soviet Union, like me.

And I grew up with a phrase: "pustoe mesto"—you are an empty place, you are nothing. Every person from Russia will relate to this!

When performance was everything and failure meant you disappeared.

"If I fail = I am nothing."

That belief may have been running in his mind his entire life. It certainly ran in mine.

And the body responds to that terror. The jumps he'd done thousands of times suddenly felt impossible.

Ilia's empowerment came from proving to the world he was worthy.

Alysa's Story: Internal Choice

But then there's Alysa. Same Olympics. Same pressure. When asked how she handled the Olympic pressure, she looked genuinely confused:

"You're going to have to explain to me what Olympic pressure is. Like, who's giving it? What's the pressure?"

She wasn't being flippant. It's not how she operates. She said:

"Medals do not validate me in any way; that's not how I feel validation." "I'm only here because I like it."

And after she won? Not relief. Pure. Human. Joy.

"IT FEELS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE CHOOSING IT."

Alysa's empowerment came from within.

The Difference

Here's what's fascinating:

Ilia's technique is superior to Alysa's. He has the most difficult jumps in the history of the sport. QuadGod.

While Ilia focused on perfecting his physical game...

Alysa changed her mental game completely.

She retired at 16 after the 2022 Olympics. Came back two years later on her own terms. Not to prove anything. Not to validate herself.

Because she loved it.

And that shift—that transformation of WHO she is in relationship to the outcome—changed everything.

She chose her game. She chose her terms. She chose her joy.

What i'MAGiNT LiFE Teaches

This is what I've spent twenty years understanding.

You don't remove the pressure. You don't "protect" people from it.

You build WHO you are to hold the pressure.

Not what you do. Not what you achieve. Not what you're known for.

WHO you are, unconditionally. The ultimate game of choice.

You CHOOSE your Blueprint—WHO you are, the qualities you express.

You CHOOSE the meaning you give to your qualities.

You CHOOSE the actions you take.

You CHOOSE how you show up.

There is no judgment. Only choice.

And when you're choosing it—when you're creating and performing on YOUR terms, not the world's terms—it feels different.

Just like Alysa.

The Shift Is Happening

Everyone's talking about Alysa Liu. And I am glad!

The shift happened.

People are saying: "I'm impressed by Ilia's quadruple axel. But what I want for myself is what Alysa has."

Her peace. Her calm. Her joy. Her freedom.

It reminds me of that scene from When Harry Met Sally—

"I'll have what she's having."

Alysa's energy is different. And it's contagious.

People see someone performing at the highest level without collapsing under it.

They see someone fully alive, not just surviving.

Alysa showed them it's possible.

And I believe this is the shift we're witnessing: the next level won't be the ones who want the most difficult jump.

They'll be the ones who want to experience life the way Alysa experienced the Olympics.

With joy. With freedom. With WHO they are fully intact.

On their own terms.

Good News: You Can

Not relief. Joy.

Not proving your worth. Choosing your worth.

If you want to explore what this looks like for YOUR life—your own "Olympic moments" where everything is on the line—I invite you to connect with me.

Let's talk about how to consciously choose WHO you are, transform what needs transforming, and create on YOUR terms.